Friday 9 March 2007

Four-part of Apology Approach

Just to share about this practical approach on apology. The next time you make a mistake, apologise by this four-part apology approach. It is used to "look beyond the actual incident to the consequences made by the choice of behaviour."


It is a way to take a responsibility of the action rather then put the blame on the other person. By saying those consequences and choosing a different behaviour, "everyone remains thoughtful and supportive rather than angry and resentful".

Acknowledge

Take responsibility for your actions and behaviours by using "I" statements. For example, say,
" I acknowledge I received your email and you reminded me about this and I ignored"

Apologise
Acknowledge the "cost" of your behaviour to others. If you are unaware of the "cost", ask. For example, say,
"I apologise and I realise that you might be hurt when I scolded and yelled at you in front of public".

Make It Right
Deal with the consequences of behaviour and ask the other person what you can do to make it right. For example, say,
"What can I do to make it right? Should I admit that I always think that I'm the only one on earth who is right in everything? Or should I admit that I always blame my staffs when something goes wrong and claim it is my work when it goes right?"

Recommit
Make a commitment to appropriate behaviour and commit not to having the same behaviour again. For example, say,
"I agree to check and verify first before I blame you." Or "I agree to change my stupid, arrogant and annoying behaviors that make everyone angry and hate me".

It is good to make an apology for every mistake we commit. I hope and pray hard that the "disgusting ugly monstrous woman/man" who claims to know everything in the world can at least once in his/her lifetime practices this four-part apology approach. Let the time witnesses the miracle!

No comments: